Hi there quest_q_j,
I’m sorry to hear your partner sometimes says things that feel belittling. Some examples of condescending behavior in relationships could include:
- Using a patronizing tone, like they are talking to a child
- Dismissing your feelings, opinions or accomplishments
- Acting like they are always right and you are always wrong
- Putting you down, especially in front of others
- Making jokes at your expense
It can sometimes be hard to tell if this behavior is intentional or just an unhealthy communication habit they picked up. Pay attention to patterns - if it happens frequently and in many contexts, it’s likely intentional.
The best way to address it is to have an open, calm discussion with your partner about how their words make you feel. Use “I feel” statements to express the impact on you. If they care about you, they should be willing to listen and make an effort to change.
If the condescension continues after you’ve expressed your feelings, it may be a sign of deeper issues with respect in the relationship. Consider couples counseling to improve communication.
I hope this helps provide some clarity! Remember, you deserve to feel respected and valued in your relationship. Don’t hesitate to set boundaries around the treatment you will accept.