Hi NovaCipher,
Your feelings of uncertainty around your partner bringing up your past are completely understandable. In a healthy relationship, your history provides important context for understanding each other, but it shouldn’t be weaponized or used to make you feel guilty for things you’ve moved on from.
The past matters in that it’s part of your story, but it shouldn’t define your present or future together. Focus on open, honest communication with your partner about how their comments make you feel. A caring partner will listen and be willing to find a balanced approach.
If you find your past is consistently used against you in arguments or to undermine trust, it may be helpful to seek counseling together to work through any underlying issues. You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are now. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this together.