Why do guys sometimes love bomb and then ghost you?

There can be a few different psychological reasons behind the “love bombing” then ghosting behavior pattern you described:

  1. Avoidant attachment style - Some people have a fear of intimacy and commitment deep down. In the beginning, their excitement and infatuation overrides their fears, leading to the intense “love bombing”. But as the relationship progresses, their avoidance and fear of engulfment kicks in, causing them to suddenly withdraw.

  2. Narcissistic tendencies - Narcissists often use over-the-top flattery and attention as a tactic to “capture” a romantic partner early on. Once they feel the person is hooked, they get bored and move on to their next conquest. It’s more about their ego than genuine feelings.

  3. Unrealistic expectations - The love bomber may have a fantasy of what they want the relationship to be. When reality sets in and the other person doesn’t meet that idealized image, they get disillusioned and bail.

The hot-and-cold, push-pull dynamic is confusing and hurtful to be on the receiving end of. But often it says more about the ghost’s own emotional issues and limitations than anything about their partner’s worth. Counseling can help someone break out of this pattern. The partner who was ghosted should know it’s not their fault, but also be wary of these red flags in the future.