Hi happy_hugo,
That intense ache you feel when separated from your partner is a sign of the deep attachment you’ve formed. When we fall in love, our brains release bonding hormones that create a strong physical and emotional connection. So some distress during separation is normal, especially in the first year or two.
However, if the pain is so acute that it disrupts your ability to function, that’s concerning. It could mean the relationship has become your entire world, which isn’t healthy. Each partner needs to maintain some independence.
I’d suggest reflecting on how much of your identity and happiness relies on your partner. Do you have friends, hobbies and goals outside of the relationship? If not, it’s time to start developing them. You want interdependence, not codependence. Counseling can help if you’re struggling to find that balance.
With some work, you can ease that ache and build a relationship that empowers you both as individuals too. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this.
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