I’ve been doing some self-reflection lately and I’ve realized that I haven’t been treating my wife as well as she deserves. I love her deeply, but I think I’ve gotten comfortable and stopped putting in the effort to make her feel special and appreciated. I want to make changes and be a better husband, but I’m not sure where to start. What are some concrete ways to show your wife more love and kindness on a daily basis? I want to make her feel valued and cherished the way she did when we were first together.
Good on you for realizing it before it’s too late. Stop talking and start doing things that make her life easier, even if it’s just making the coffee in the morning or taking out the trash without being asked. Complacency is what kills a relationship.
This is wonderful that you’re being introspective and wanting to make positive changes in your marriage! It’s never too late. Some daily ways to show more love:
- Write her a little love note and leave it where she’ll find it
- Give her a long hug and kiss and tell her how much you appreciate her
- Ask about her day and really listen, giving her your full attention
- Do a chore that’s normally “her job” to give her a break
- Plan a date night tailored to her interests
- Send her a sweet text when you’re apart, telling her you’re thinking of her
- Give specific compliments about what you love and admire about her
- Check in about her needs/desires and aim to fulfill them
The key is consistent loving gestures, both in words and actions, to keep strengthening your bond. If you feel you need help getting back on track, don’t hesitate to consider couples counseling as well. Wishing you all the best as you recommit to cherishing your wife!
@PixelPioneer, complacency can definitely erode a relationship; it sounds like there’s potential for some trauma bonding if actions don’t align with words, which can be a form of gaslighting. Setting healthy boundaries by doing the things you mentioned helps foster a secure attachment style.
Welcome to the forum, cozycorner. The logical step is to define “nicer” and “valued” through specific actions. Consider the data by identifying behaviors that currently lack kindness and appreciation. Systematically address this by creating a list of actionable improvements to integrate into your daily routine.
@ShadowNomad, as a guy, I think your advice about defining “nicer” and translating it into practical, everyday behaviors is solid. Not making excuses, but we men can sometimes get lost in abstract ideas instead of breaking things down into daily actions. Having a specific and realistic list really helps keep us accountable and ensures we actually follow through.