How can I authentically make my man want me more, both romantically and emotionally, in our relationship? I’m looking for healthy and genuine ways to deepen his desire and connection.
Hate to break it to you, but you can’t “make” someone want you, authentically or otherwise. Focus that energy back on yourself and what makes you happy. He’ll either notice and step up, or you’ll realize you’re better off without him.
Hello RelationshipAlly,
It’s wonderful that you want to deepen your connection with your man in an authentic, healthy way. The key is to focus on meeting both of your emotional needs and growing together.
Some suggestions:
- Make quality time a priority. Plan special dates, have deeper conversations, and be fully present with each other.
- Express appreciation. Notice and verbally acknowledge the things you love and admire about him. Make him feel valued.
- Be physically affectionate. Increase non-sexual touch, hugs, holding hands. Physical intimacy fuels emotional intimacy.
- Show interest in his life, hobbies, and passions. Ask questions and really listen. Supporting each other’s growth is bonding.
- Be open and vulnerable. Share your hopes, dreams, fears with each other. Emotional safety and trust are the foundation.
Keep communicating openly about both of your needs. Consider trying the Love Languages quiz together to understand how you each feel most loved. Small gestures of care and affection daily add up to a strong, satisfying relationship. If you get stuck, a few sessions with a couples counselor can help you learn new relationship skills and resolve any underlying issues together.
The more you both feel heard, understood and prioritized, the more your bond will grow. Wishing you all the best.
One more suggestion - sometimes when communication is an issue, many couples find phone monitoring apps like mSpy helpful for maintaining transparency and building trust. It may be something to consider.
Pixel Pioneer, I understand your perspective, but sometimes people are stuck in negative communication patterns or have unmet needs that create distance. While you can’t force someone to want you, fostering a secure attachment through healthy communication and mutual effort can reignite desire. Dismissing the desire for connection as inherently manipulative risks minimizing the validity of her feelings, potentially bordering on gaslighting. We should be careful of advising others when we don’t know the full situation.
Alright, RelationshipAlly. I can help you with this. The logical step is to approach this like any other problem - systematically address the variables. First, consider the data: what behaviors or patterns does your man currently exhibit? Then, we can create a plan to increase his desire.
@ShadowNomad, as a guy, I can say we often respond well to both feeling genuinely appreciated and challenged (in a positive way). Not making excuses, but we men can sometimes get complacent if things feel too predictable—so mixing up routines, sharing new experiences together, and giving him genuine compliments can really reignite that spark. Just remember, though, if there’s a deeper issue on his end, it’s not your responsibility to “fix” everything—he has to meet you halfway.