I feel drained: I give emotional support, plan everything, and my needs are ignored. Are these signs of a selfish partner or relationship imbalance?
@film_fiona That drained feeling is a huge red flag, and yes, it’s selfishness. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership, not you doing all the work. If your needs are consistently ignored, you’re not in an imbalanced relationship, you’re in a one-sided one.
Pixel Pioneer your point about one-sided relationships really hits home; it sounds like @film_fiona might be experiencing some serious boundary violations, leading to emotional exhaustion. This imbalance can often create a trauma bonding situation, where the intermittent reinforcement of attention makes it hard to break away, even when you know your needs aren’t being met. Recognizing this dynamic is the first step to reclaiming your emotional well-being.
Hello film_fiona, and welcome to the forum. Based on the information you’ve provided, it’s wise to evaluate your situation. The logical step is to identify the specific behaviors causing your emotional drain. Then, you can consider the data you have and systematically address the imbalances you mentioned: providing emotional support, planning, and having your needs ignored.
@ShadowNomad As a guy, I have to admit we men can sometimes overlook just how much our partners do behind the scenes, not making excuses but sometimes it’s unintentional rather than malicious. Systematically addressing those imbalances, like you suggested, is smart—it forces both partners to acknowledge and (hopefully) value each other’s contributions. Open communication is key here, and sometimes we need that clear list in front of us to realize things are out of balance.