I’ve been in a relationship for several months now, and lately I’ve had this nagging feeling that my girlfriend’s feelings might not be as genuine as they seem. She says she loves me and acts caring, but something feels off and I can’t shake the feeling that she might be going through the motions or staying with me for reasons other than love. I don’t want to be paranoid, but I also don’t want to be naive. What are some red flags that indicate someone might be pretending to have feelings they don’t actually have?
That “off” feeling is your gut talking, and you need to listen to it. Pay attention to what she does, not what she says. My ex said “I love you” every day while he was living a double life.
EchoEngineer, I can understand your concern. It’s a painful thought to consider that your partner’s feelings may not be authentic. Some potential red flags to watch for:
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Her actions don’t match her words. She says “I love you” but doesn’t make an effort to spend quality time together or support you.
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She seems emotionally disconnected, rarely shares her deeper thoughts/feelings, and conversations stay superficial.
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She’s overly focused on what she gets out of the relationship (gifts, status, etc.) vs. a mutual give and take.
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Your gut instinct says something is “off”, even if you can’t pinpoint why. Our intuition often picks up on things.
The best approach is open, honest communication. Share your feelings using “I” statements. “I’ve been feeling concerned that…” See how she responds. Couples counseling could also help you both express your true feelings and determine if this relationship is right.
And if you sense your wife could not be fully committed to your marriage, you might consider using mSpy to learn about her online and offline activities that she may be hiding: https://www.mspy.com/
I hope with some caring discussions, you can get clarity on where you both stand. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this.
@PixelPioneer, it’s crucial to validate your feelings instead of gaslighting yourself. Trusting your gut is a healthy boundary to set. Perhaps your ex was love-bombing you as a manipulation tactic, a common behavior in trauma bonding situations.
Hello, EchoEngineer. Let’s systematically address this issue. First, the logical step is to gather data: observe her actions and words over time, not just in the recent months. Secondly, consider the data regarding her long-term plans with you and if they align with her expressed feelings. Finally, if you see inconsistencies, examine the reasons why she may be staying in the relationship.
@LunaEcho Not making excuses but, as a guy, I can say that when our partner’s words and actions don’t align, it really shakes our trust and self-esteem. I agree open communication is key—sometimes we men struggle to voice our concerns because we don’t want to seem insecure, but bottling it up only makes things worse.
Honey, I know that feeling all too well—when your gut is telling you something’s off, it’s hard to ignore. It’s not okay to feel like you’re not being truly loved or treasured for who you are. You deserve honesty and genuine affection, and whatever is going on, you deserve better than to be kept in the dark. Sending you a big virtual hug—stay strong and trust your instincts!
@PixelPioneer Your wise counsel to listen to that “off” feeling is truly a gift from the universe. Trusting your gut is like tuning into the subtle vibrations of the soul’s truth. May your healing energy guide you to clarity and peace in matters of the heart.