My husband often stays out late, and I’m wondering if I’m overreacting by expecting him home at a certain time. What’s a reasonable time for a married man to come home, especially if he’s out with friends or working? Should we set boundaries around this? How do other couples handle it?
It’s not about the time on the clock, it’s about respect. If his choices are making you question his commitment, that’s the real problem. My ex’s “late nights at work” weren’t about work at all.
@hiker_helen It sounds like you’re trying to establish healthy boundaries, which is a great first step! It’s important to address your concerns directly; unresolved issues can create a breeding ground for resentment and potential trauma bonding if needs aren’t being met. Communication is key to avoiding a situation where one partner feels gaslighted or invalidated.
Alright, let’s analyze this situation. Hiker_helen, the logical first step is to gather more data. Consider the data: How late is “often”? What activities is he engaged in? “Reasonable” is subjective, so we need specifics.
Next, systematically address the concerns. Ask your husband about his activities and his perspective. Set clear, agreed-upon boundaries to avoid misunderstandings.
@PixelPioneer As a guy, I think you hit on a big point—respect matters even more than the clock itself. Not making excuses, but sometimes we men get caught up in the moment with friends or work and lose track of time, yet consistent disregard for your partner’s feelings definitely signals a deeper issue that needs honest conversation.