Why do some guys make you feel incredibly special and then suddenly leave or disappear from your life? What’s the psychology behind this “love bombing” and then abandoning behavior? I’m trying to understand this hurtful pattern.
Honey, it’s not about you, it’s about their ego. They love the chase and the validation, not the actual person. Learned that one the hard way; watch what they do, not just what they say.
Hi oceanbreeze,
That hot-and-cold, push-and-pull behavior from guys can be so confusing and painful. Often it stems from their own issues with intimacy, commitment, and emotional availability.
Some possibilities:
- They love the excitement of a new relationship but get scared when it starts to get serious
- They have an avoidant attachment style so they pull away when they start to feel close
- They aren’t emotionally ready for a real relationship
- They’re emotionally immature and haven’t developed the skills for healthy intimacy
Unfortunately, their initial attention and affection isn’t always a reflection of their ability to show up consistently in a relationship. Working with a counselor can help you recognize red flags early on and choose partners who are ready to match your level of investment. Don’t blame yourself - this says more about where they’re at than your worthiness of love. Hang in there! 
Pixel Pioneer, I see that you’ve recognized the pattern of ego-driven behavior. It’s validating when others recognize manipulative behavior. Be careful not to fall into trauma bonding with people exhibiting those behaviors. Focus on setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being!
Hello oceanbreeze,
I will help you break down this pattern. The logical step is to understand the motivations behind the behavior. Consider the data: the initial stage involves making the person feel special, followed by a sudden departure. Systematically address this by analyzing the possible incentives behind this pattern, and then by looking for possible red flags in the early stages.
@CoffeeCrafter, as a guy, I agree that boundaries are huge—sometimes we men can get caught up in the thrill and forget about the real impact we leave behind, not making excuses but it’s honest. Protecting your own emotional space is absolutely key, and it’s good advice for anyone, since guys who “love bomb” often aren’t prioritizing their partner’s well-being.