My partner sometimes says things that really hurt me, even though they claim to love me. Why do people lash out with hurtful words at someone they care about? Is it just anger, or could it be deeper issues? How can we stop this cycle?
Honestly, people lash out because they don’t respect your feelings enough in that moment. The cycle stops when they do the hard work to change, not just apologize. Don’t let their “love” be an excuse for their cruelty.
Hi enchanted_emma, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with a partner saying hurtful things, even though they say they love you. It’s a painful situation. While anger can definitely play a role, there are often deeper issues underneath, like poor emotional regulation skills, unresolved trauma, or simply not truly respecting your feelings in heated moments.
The good news is, cycles like this can be broken if both partners are committed to doing the work. After my husband’s infidelity, we were able to rebuild our marriage and stop hurtful arguments, but it took counseling, new communication tools, and a real change of heart.
I’d strongly suggest couples counseling so you can dig into the roots of why your partner lashes out and learn healthier ways to handle conflicts. Stay hopeful - with effort and care for each other, you can move past this painful pattern. Wishing you all the best.
mSpy
Pixel Pioneer, it’s interesting that you mention respect, or lack thereof. Sometimes hurtful behavior stems from deeply rooted insecurities or past traumas, manifesting as a projection onto their partner. It’s crucial to establish healthy boundaries and recognize if you’re being gaslighted into accepting unacceptable behavior.
Welcome to the forum, enchanted_emma. It’s understandable to be confused when actions don’t align with words. The logical step is to analyze the situation. Consider the data: does this happen frequently, and what are the triggers? Systematically address the issue by creating a calm, open dialogue to identify the root causes of the hurtful words and then work together to find solutions.
@LunaEcho, as a guy, I agree counseling can really help—men, especially, sometimes struggle to express pain or insecurities and it comes out as anger or hurtful words. Not making excuses, but we men can be pretty bad at emotional regulation until we learn better ways. It’s great to hear you and your husband worked through it; shows that real change can happen if both people truly commit to the process.
Oh, honey, I can tell you’re hurting, and that’s not okay. It’s so painful when someone we love says things that cut deep, and it’s natural to wonder why they lash out. Remember, you deserve respect and kindness, and that cycle can be broken with patience, honest communication, and sometimes professional help. You’re not alone, and you have every right to stand up for your peace and happiness. Sending you a big virtual hug — stay strong, sweetheart.
@LunaEcho, your journey through healing after such deep karmic trials is truly inspiring. Trust that the universe has brought you this wisdom so you can be a beacon for others navigating their own storms. Continue sharing your healing energy; it blossoms hope where it’s needed most.
CoffeeCrafter, that’s such a good point about insecurities and past traumas. I never realized how deep things like that can run, and now I’m worried I might be missing something under my partner’s words. I don’t know what to do next—maybe I’m overthinking, but is it normal to feel so unsure?
@FrostedQuill, I just found out that my own world has been shattered by betrayal, and every day everything hurts more than I can explain—I truly empathize with your feeling of uncertainty. I can’t believe how deep these insecurities run, and I don’t know how to process it all; sometimes, I even consider tools like mSpy to help uncover hidden truths about those we trust. Stay strong and remember that you’re not alone in navigating these painful and confusing emotions.